Cold As You
by CailinNollaig
Summary: You wonder why you’re still with him, why you stand for the emotional abuse and humiliation of it all. You wonder why you don’t fight back, why you sit there and let him walk all over you. It’s then you realise you love him, but you don’t know why.


_Found this on my computer today. I wrote it on the 29__th__ of April but didn't think it good enough to upload. Changed my mind, because as much as I __**love**__ readers and reviewers, _**I**_ like it, so I'm going to upload it._

_Warning: Bad!Draco and fairly dramatic. Not really bad Draco, just cold…_

* * *

**Cold As You**

_You have a way of coming easily to me  
__And when you take, you take the very best of me  
__So I start a fight cause I need to feel something  
__And you do what you want cause I'm not what you wanted_

You stand in front of him, tears streaming down your face as you try to reason with him, when you know it's impossible when he's being like this. He's refusing to acknowledge your presence now, and you scream in frustration of it all. He chuckles in amusement and continues on ignoring you.

You realise that you're behaving uncharacteristically, you're acting like a pathetic and desperate fan girl. You hate it.

You see the way he lusts after others, how you're never what he wants. You're not even what he needs, you're just want he settled with. The sharp realisation of it all hits you and you look at him with broken eyes, "Why are you doing this?"

Your strangled tone and hurt look must have gotten his attention, because he's now answering you, "Doing what?"

"Stop ignoring me! Stop chasing other girls.. Just- just stop it!!" You cry furiously, your voice scratching from the heights it's reaching.

You're now attracting attention, and realising that, he looks at you, "Come now, Pansy. Don't be acting so jealous -- it does not become you."

Others look down at you. They don't see what he's doing to you, the games he's playing with everyone and most of all, they don't see how he's playing you.

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
__Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say  
__And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_  
__I've never been anywhere cold as you_

Your heart is breaking, aching as you watch him talk to Daphne Greengrass with a flirtatious smirk on his lips. His body is leaned forward towards hers, their legs bumping. You swallow thickly as you watch on with a heavy heart.

You don't understand why he's doing this to you, why he's trying break you in every way he can -- why he wants to _hurt_ you so badly. You definitely don't understand why he's still doing it even after it's been accomplished.

You don't understand why you're still hanging on, either. Or at least you'd like to pretend to.

He wasn't always this cold and detached, this emotionless and careless. Before Voldemort calling him, he had been almost happy. He had been almost loving… And you had almost been all he wanted. Things had changed.

_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
__And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
__And you come away with a great little story  
__Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_

He stalks into the common room at one in the morning, his infamous scowl crossing his beautiful features. You rush over to him, looking over for cuts and bruises like you do every time. He snaps at you and tells you to go away. You ignore him, as usual. His eyes soften and he holds out his arm, "I was hit here, it stings a little," You acknowledge he's letting you in a little, and your heart instantly feels a little lighter.

You roll up his sleeve and gasp, the sight of the Dark Mark frightening you momentarily. It's ugly and menacing upon his left forearm, the black shape marring his soft, pale skin. Tears well in your eyes as you look up at him, "What..?"

"Stop it," He replies in an icy tone, "Just get to your room. What are you waiting around for?"

You take a step back, your eyes focused on him. You stumble but still keep your eyes trained on him. His walls are coming back up, his defence mechanism biting at you. You shake your head, "I--I don't know." You feel dazed and confused. You're lost, because you don't know what you would do without him. You don't know what you will do without him.

You inhale sharply, "You, I think."

He exhales sharply before replying, "You'll never be anything more than a meaningless hang-on to me, Pans." He storms off.

You collapse onto the sofa, chanting softly that it's only his walls….

It's only his walls.

_You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you  
__And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you_

He shakes his head as you hand him his homework, you did it yourself. He asked you to get a Ravenclaw to do it, but you thought it was a nice gesture of you to do it. He glances at it, "What is _this?_"

"Your homework," You explain, perplexed.

"It's awful. Did you do it? I told you to ask a Ravenclaw. This is of no use to me, Pans!"

You watch sorrowfully as he throws the copy beside him and looks to find Crabbe and Goyle in the kitchens. He didn't even look at the homework, only seeing your handwriting and tossing it aside.

You sit in the Slytherin room and cry, whilst other Slytherins look at you with disdain. They think you're pathetic and Draco doesn't object. He's returned now and glances distastefully at you every few minutes, accepting sympathies from boys that tell him they feel sorry for him.

You wonder why you're still with him, why you stand for the emotional abuse and humiliation of it all. You wonder why you don't fight back, why you sit there and let him walk all over you.

It's then you realise you love him, but you don't know why.

_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
__**Every smile you fake is so condescending  
**__**Counting all the scars you made  
**__And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through_

_**I've never been anywhere cold as you**_

He smirks to Blaise Zabini, gesturing to you lazily as an explanation as to why he's so irritable this morning. He says that you were crying all night and wouldn't leave him. Which was the truth, but you wanted him to break up with you.

You don't want to be like this. You don't want people to think of you as a pathetic love puppy.

He laughs along with Blaise as they talk about the Gryffindor they ridiculed last week, they reduced the girl to tears. Normally, you have a strong dislike for Gryffindors, but you feel some sort of kinship to that girl.

Fury rises in you as you recall everytime he has humiliated you, how he made you feel less than adequate, how he pushed you around and painted you as some pathetic fangirl. How he breaks your heart everytime he sneaks off with that tart, Daphne Greengrass.

Anger swells as you watch him laugh over the torment of the Gryffindor and it encourages you, "Draco Malfoy!" You scream with fury, "I'm sick of you! You're a horrible, horrible boy and I hope you get what's coming to you!" He rolls his eyes and you continue, your anger only spurring you on, "Every smile you fake is so condescending, counting all the scars you made. You're pathetic and I hate you for making me love you. For leading me on and then leaving me lost, I _hate _you for it. Especially though, I hate that I love you," Tears are falling now, but you're determined not to crumble before him. His eyes are widening slightly, but he shows no other indication of any other emotion. His perfect mask is in place. "I've never been anywhere cold as you, Malfoy."

You turn on your heel and march towards the door, your chest becoming heavier with each step, your eyes stinging with each blink and your entire being crumbling as you walk away from the one you love.

You're better off though.

"Pansy, I'm glad you got that off of your chest. Could you please make your dramatic exit now? This is getting boring."

Pain sears through your heart but you ignore it and him, holding your head high and walking out of the room.

You feel lighter too though, as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

Pansy Parkinson can learn to forget Draco Malfoy, all she needs is time.

* * *

_**It's kind of weird, isn't it? I just wanted to do something different and I looked at Pansy and thought 'Why is she such a bimbo?' and I came up with the idea of Draco kind of playing her and making her like that.**_

_**It's a bad!Draco here I guess, but oh well.**_

_**R&R please!**_

_**xCNx**_


End file.
